The Spotlight Effect

The Spotlight Effect

So you did something. It was incredibly embarrassing and you’ve remembered it since. You think your friends, your family, everyone at that moment was watching you specifically and how you’ve blundered. Or maybe, you wore a stained shirt to school and had only noticed it after your friend pointed it out for you and now you think everyone around you noticed and might make fun of you and remember it. But were they really? Did you even remember how it actually happened?

This is a psychological phenomenon that happens to a lot of people where they believe they are being noticed more than they actually are. We overestimate how people perceive us and remember our actions, whether it is positive or negative, when in reality they don’t even notice it happening in the first place. This is called the spotlight effect because people think, in that moment, the social spotlight is shining brighter on them.

A research study had been done regarding this, where a person was given an embarrassing t-shirt to wear before entering a classroom which also made them late. Not only that, students inside the classroom could see this happening through the door. After the day ended, researchers asked the student with the t-shirt how many people do they think noticed the shirt and they replied about 50%. But when the students in the classroom were asked about it, less than 25% said they did. This effect does not only affect appearance wise but also performance wise. Another study shows colleagues discussing how they each individually performed and most of them think people would notice that they contributed more or less to a project. Which brings us to the conclusion that beyond the spotlight, the person really watching us is usually just ourselves. We tend to be our own worst critic or we overestimate ourselves around people when really, not everyone cares.

This can also appear in a sort of positive outlook where people can have a “main character energy” in online culture which can become toxic to yourself and others around you if it is overdone because really, you are your own main character in your own world but you are also a secondary character in other people’s worlds so it is important to consider this because it can become a good way to remember that you aren’t the only person in this world and not overdo it.

Still not convinced? Think about it.. When have you remembered other’s social blunders above your own? You remember your mistakes but what about the random stranger you saw trip on a rock? They probably felt embarrassed even though you know and probably don’t even remember them. This is because people are usually preoccupied with their own thoughts to be worried about what other people are thinking.

Is there a way to stop this from happening? Yes! Of course there is. How? Whenever you feel like everyone is watching you make mistake after mistake, or question if you even should be there, or get nervous when you do something embarrassing, try observing other people. When you get nervous you might usually look down or away from people which shifts the attention internally. When you are observing others, you are shifting your attention to them making it hard for yourself to worry about other stuff because your mind is not able to pay attention to 2 things at once.

So, the next time you do something embarrassing or seem to feel like you are the centre of attention and get nervous, don’t get too worried about it because most likely, no one will remember it or will care at all. It can be liberating and humbling. Remember, other people also go through the same phenomenon too, so don’t get too caught up in your own thoughts and relax. Enjoy your day!